Training Partners

Running for me has always been a solo pursuit, mainly because I was embarrassed about the pace at which I ran. Simply going for a jog with someone ended up as a painful ego blow where I was left behind or had to come up with some excuse why I had to stop and walk momentarily ("My stomach is giving me issues today"). When you talk to people and they find out you are a runner, often they inevitably say "we should go for a run together". For me, this usually involves a polite agreement for some unknown time in the future (I'll figure out how to avoid it later). I'm a reasonably fit guy with the physical appearance to match, so people assume that I'm a fast runner who they will have to keep up with. I've recently had a friend (an avid and accomplished runner) tell me that she didn't want to start posting on Strava.com because she wanted to get a little faster before she made it public. She used me as an example and said that compared to me she'd be embarrassed to post any runs. I said "I'm sure you'll be fine and have nothing to be embarrassed about". However, the ego wouldn't let me divulge any official times in the moment. It's better left to mystery...

I'm usually pretty successful at avoiding running with others, typically with some lame excuse or other obligation. I've only ever run with people who are close to me, and usually avoid group runs, etc. My wife, Samantha has been a solid partner in training and consistently supportive of whatever pace I need to run on the day. She is aware of my deficiencies, without speaking of them and remaining supportive throughout. Our dog, Bullet is always a reliable training partner, always eager to get out the door for a jaunt through the mountains. Most recently, a good friend of mine, Joel has signed up for the same ultramarathon that my wife and I will be running. Joel has been a dedicated runner in the past, and although he says he's slow, I feel he may not be giving himself credit. Truthfully, I was hesitant to agree to training with Joel on some runs, but the more I relish in the catharsis of making my inadequacies public, the more comfortable I am with a training partner besides my wife and dog. I am honestly looking forward to running with Joel and pursuing this thing. He's a genuine guy and I trust that his critique will be minimal if any, and always positive.

The more running I do, the more I realize how much I love it. I didn't love it in the past because I felt like a lesser being afterward because I could only keep a below average pace (something I wasn't used to because I'm consistently above average in other areas). Running as of late has become a very enjoyable experience for me because I'm allowing myself to go as slow as I need to. I've been using a heart rate monitor and going at whatever pace allows my specific heart rate for that session. I'm finally letting the run happen as opposed to fighting the pace and trying to push harder, which inevitably leads to vomiting or walking.

Ultramarathon

So now that this thing is started and publicly displayed, I will start to delve into my prospects for the future. I've always been fascinated with endurance. Thats probably because I never had any and it seemed so far out of reach and unattainable. There was always an allure for people who could run in what seemed like an effortless manner, then just keep going. Forever. Me? I would amble a few yards and suck wind like I had just been held under the ocean for 10 minutes. What was it about these people that made it so easy and smooth? Fascinating... It wouldn't be until my late teens that I actually started to run with some modicum of success (i.e. could run for more than a minute at a time). Following the repair of my heart, I decided to start taking advantage of some of this newfound capacity. Granted, this capacity simply allowed me to ascend a flight of stairs without stopping for a break in the middle, but nonetheless, it was exponentially more than I had before. I will never forget my first mile. It was on a treadmill in my parents basement. The mill faced into the corner (only God knows why it was positioned that way), with concrete walls providing only the most entertaining scenery for a jaunt on the human rat wheel. My father was doing some work in the basement while I was "running" (4.0 MPH, 1.5% grade) on the treadmill. I felt pretty good considering how long I had been at it. My memories of the mile run consisted of that thing I plodded through in elementary school during the annual "running of the buffaloes" around the makeshift track that my private school had. I was always the last finisher, having walked most of it, with my times somewhere upwards of 20 minutes. I remember the gym teacher having stopped her stopwatch several minutes before I jaunted into the group. When she saw me she told me that she will just put me down for having "completed" the distance. No time was ever mentioned. So there I was, droning along at a measly 4.0 MPH (in my mind I was running like the wind, because I had never gone so fast for so long), my dad only a few steps away. About 15 minutes later I heard the "beep" on the mill that I had reached a mile. What?!?! I ran a MILE? I couldn't believe it. I shouted to my dad who knowingly nodded and smiled, recognizing this milestone of an achievement. I remember the hug that was exchanged. It felt like I was being congratulated for having climbed Mount Everest. I was hooked. I remember continuing to run on the treadmill for several months after that (outside was too intimidating), having slowly worked myself up to two miles at a time, still staring at that concrete wall. The wall and its misery became a kind of meditation for me. Something I was proud of. I could stare at a wall, running, in the dark basement. I was a MACHINE... Over the next couple years, into early college, I experienced an on again, off again relationship with running. I would occasionally do it to keep up my "cardio", having succumbed to a bodybuilding lifestyle in the meantime. Big and buff was the mantra, and cardio only served to keep my leanness (I'm pretty lean as it is, the "cardio" was more of an obligation fueled by the bodybuilding credo). Slowly, I delved into the endurance sports community, starting with mountain biking, then running and cycling during my freshmen and sophomore year in college. I even did a triathlon (an obsession for another post), making the short sprint distance my first organized endurance event. To date, this remains the only formally organized event that I have ever done. Over those years, I remained intrigued by the ultra endurance athletes in various disciplines, including cycling, mountain biking, and running. They were superhuman. Running 24 hours straight? WTF?!? I wanted that. I wanted to rank myself among them. I don't know why it has taken me this long to do so (might be a realization I come to as this progresses), but I am finally going to pursue an ultramarathon. The Blues Cruise 50K is my outlet of choice this year. My wife will be running it with me. We will be training together, separate, whatever our schedules allow. The race is on October 6th 2013 www.bluescruiseultra.com. It is on trails, around Blue Marsh Lake in Reading, Pennsylvania. Thus begins my destiny...

Why Now?

I've never been one to advertise my genetic weakness, or even admit to it. I've never wanted anyone aware of my lack of capacity in relation to physical performance. I've spent years training and honing my physicality in various disciplines in order to outwork my given detriment. Actually, what I was doing was focusing on the things that I was NOT weak at. Things like climbing, weightlifting, and academics. I inherently avoided what I sucked at, always coming up with a lame excuse to avoid those things. Things like running, cycling, or endurance in general. That's not to say I didn't do endurance. I did, at times, pursue running, cycling, and even triathlon quite obsessively. During those times I would embark on a run or a ride solo, delusional that I was pacing at a competitive level (I was in reality, very slow). I did lots of "Long Slow Distance" stuff, because I lacked the capacity to actually GO FAST and it was easier to convince myself that I was in a "base-building" phase, where going slow was OK. Despite my relative lack of speed, I could certainly suffer for a long time, sometimes riding up and down mountains for 8-10 hours at a time, and even running up to 20 miles on trails. Don't be fooled though, my mileages and times were certainly lacking in comparison. I can count on one hand the number of times I was accompanied by someone on these ventures, which I credit to what I thought was an invalidity and my reluctance to expose it. So, why do I now choose to admit my gift, accept what is mine, and start to live honestly? Because only if I accept what God has given me, then I can truly express my potential through what He has given me. It has been my ego that keeps my "weakness exposure" in check. However, I've fooled myself into thinking that someone actually cares if I run at a 12:00 mile pace, or if I can only ride a bike at a certain speed, etc. Well, I'm not that important. No one cares about the time. People recognize the EFFORT, and the ATTITUDE, more than anything. As Mark Twight says, "The mind is primary". I'm ready to embrace my defect, take advantage of my strengths (to include mentality), and pursue the impossible. Persistence, Resistance, Perseverance.

ULTRA

It is my hope that this page will serve as a vehicle for my expression of the pursuit of several goals I'd like to accomplish in my life. These particular goals are all physical in nature and mostly revolve around outdoor sports. The goals may evolve as I progress, as we are all constantly evolving. However, they will not be modified to a lesser degree than they were originally set. I aim to avoid a distorted perspective on me, and I hope that through my willing exposure of my genetic gift others will be inspired to seek their objective, despite any perceived barriers. The only limits are those you create. The only thing standing in your way is you. No excuses, seriously. To start this off right, I feel I should finally be honest to the world about what I've been given. Quick recap of the last 28 years of my life: I was born with Tetralogy of Fallot with Pulmonary Atresia, a congenital defect that seriously impacts the function of my heart. For the first 15 years of my life I couldn't walk up the stairs without taking a break. I would turn blue whenever I ran more than 100 meters or so. I've passed out, vomited, and cried, all because of overexertion doing things that are normally considered a warmup activity. At 7 years old I got endocarditis (a bacterial growth inside the heart) that almost killed me and decreased my heart function even more. At 14, I got endocarditis again, further decreasing cardiac function and bringing me close to death for a second time. At 15, I had open-heart surgery to repair the defect, during which I went into congestive heart failure, experienced a pseudo aneurysm, and had a traumatic extubation causing me to lose my voice for 4 months. I had two more repairs performed over the remainder of my teens, and now receive regular cardiology consults regarding the management of my case. During all of this, I became fascinated with the abilities of athletes in various disciplines, mostly revolving around the outdoor an endurance sports scene. I pursued several of these activities as a way of recreation and a way to test my own limits, both physically and mentally. This page is my story as it stands now and in the future. I will reach my goals. Persistence, Resistance, Perseverance. Current Stats: VO2Max - 37ml/kg/min Max Heart Rate - 167 1 Mile Time Trial - 8:43 Pullups - 28 5 Minute Snatch Test 24kg - 87 reps Handstand Pushups - 32 Deadlift - 365lbs