I've never been one to advertise my genetic weakness, or even admit to it. I've never wanted anyone aware of my lack of capacity in relation to physical performance. I've spent years training and honing my physicality in various disciplines in order to outwork my given detriment. Actually, what I was doing was focusing on the things that I was NOT weak at. Things like climbing, weightlifting, and academics. I inherently avoided what I sucked at, always coming up with a lame excuse to avoid those things. Things like running, cycling, or endurance in general. That's not to say I didn't do endurance. I did, at times, pursue running, cycling, and even triathlon quite obsessively. During those times I would embark on a run or a ride solo, delusional that I was pacing at a competitive level (I was in reality, very slow). I did lots of "Long Slow Distance" stuff, because I lacked the capacity to actually GO FAST and it was easier to convince myself that I was in a "base-building" phase, where going slow was OK. Despite my relative lack of speed, I could certainly suffer for a long time, sometimes riding up and down mountains for 8-10 hours at a time, and even running up to 20 miles on trails. Don't be fooled though, my mileages and times were certainly lacking in comparison. I can count on one hand the number of times I was accompanied by someone on these ventures, which I credit to what I thought was an invalidity and my reluctance to expose it.
So, why do I now choose to admit my gift, accept what is mine, and start to live honestly? Because only if I accept what God has given me, then I can truly express my potential through what He has given me. It has been my ego that keeps my "weakness exposure" in check. However, I've fooled myself into thinking that someone actually cares if I run at a 12:00 mile pace, or if I can only ride a bike at a certain speed, etc. Well, I'm not that important. No one cares about the time. People recognize the EFFORT, and the ATTITUDE, more than anything. As Mark Twight says, "The mind is primary". I'm ready to embrace my defect, take advantage of my strengths (to include mentality), and pursue the impossible. Persistence, Resistance, Perseverance.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Why Now?
I've never been one to advertise my genetic weakness, or even admit to it. I've never wanted anyone aware of my lack of capacity in relation to physical performance. I've spent years training and honing my physicality in various disciplines in order to outwork my given detriment. Actually, what I was doing was focusing on the things that I was NOT weak at. Things like climbing, weightlifting, and academics. I inherently avoided what I sucked at, always coming up with a lame excuse to avoid those things. Things like running, cycling, or endurance in general. That's not to say I didn't do endurance. I did, at times, pursue running, cycling, and even triathlon quite obsessively. During those times I would embark on a run or a ride solo, delusional that I was pacing at a competitive level (I was in reality, very slow). I did lots of "Long Slow Distance" stuff, because I lacked the capacity to actually GO FAST and it was easier to convince myself that I was in a "base-building" phase, where going slow was OK. Despite my relative lack of speed, I could certainly suffer for a long time, sometimes riding up and down mountains for 8-10 hours at a time, and even running up to 20 miles on trails. Don't be fooled though, my mileages and times were certainly lacking in comparison. I can count on one hand the number of times I was accompanied by someone on these ventures, which I credit to what I thought was an invalidity and my reluctance to expose it.
So, why do I now choose to admit my gift, accept what is mine, and start to live honestly? Because only if I accept what God has given me, then I can truly express my potential through what He has given me. It has been my ego that keeps my "weakness exposure" in check. However, I've fooled myself into thinking that someone actually cares if I run at a 12:00 mile pace, or if I can only ride a bike at a certain speed, etc. Well, I'm not that important. No one cares about the time. People recognize the EFFORT, and the ATTITUDE, more than anything. As Mark Twight says, "The mind is primary". I'm ready to embrace my defect, take advantage of my strengths (to include mentality), and pursue the impossible. Persistence, Resistance, Perseverance.
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